April 28, 2008
Managed to spend some quality time with Kyle and got thoroughly amused by his antics, he is one funny little guy. Belle, our domestic help seems to have a way to get Kyle to take his routined naps in the morning and then in late afternoon. This has been rather challenging for me, as Kyle does not seem to want to take any naps when he is with Keith and I, all he wants to do is to just play and play...
Another problem that Kyle has is that he is not able to self-soothe himself to sleep, as he has got rather used to Belle carrying him to sleep, does not really help when he is getting rather heavy. Really hope that he will get out of this stage soon and when the time comes for me to take over, I will be able train him to self-soothe himself to sleep . Not proud to admit that I am rather dependent on my domestic help at this point when it comes to putting Kyle to bed :( Alas, the agony of a working mother...
Nothing seems to unfaze him, not even when dad comes along and plants a kiss on his cheek!
April 27, 2008
Tried to take more pictures later in the day, and notice those little hands of his? Took some more pictures with the flash and see what I got again...
In the end, I finally managed to get this shot with flash...
April 20, 2008
Helping himself to a sip of Nana's drink on the coffee table
Busily walking about, checks out every room in the house, chases Shawnie in circles, ensures that Shawnie gets a big pat of his furry body whenever he walks pass Kyle
Just being my favorite little person. When he gets those bear hugs from me, I just don't want to ever let go and wish that moment lasts forever...
and the next one
and the other
and one more
He could even encourage his classmate while the latter was crawling through the tunnel!
He also attempted to hug a girl in class as as he was so delighted during bubble time. As the other little one was not very stable while standing, they both fell together on the mat and ended up in tears. He is one affectionate and sociable little guy...
April 19, 2008
I must say that it has been extremely informative and it does answer some of the questions that I have had in regards to the root cause for homosexuality. According to the speaker, Dr Julie Harren Hamilton, homosexuality is not a choice. The two schools of thought which are both inaccurate, the first one that believes that it is biological, i.e, people are born gay and the other one that assumes that homosexuality is a choice. Contrary to belief, people do not choose to be gay as 'we do not choose our behaviour but do not choose our attractions and desires'. It is driven by feelings and thus is not a conscious choice.
So where does it come from then? Dr Hamilton believes that it stems from a development issue from childhood, and there are numerous factors that drive this development.
1. Gender identity - the way that a person sees himself according to his own gender. How masculine/feminine he sees himself
2. Perceptions of the child - what the child believes
3. Temperament of the child
Enviroment + Temperament = Homosexuality
The relationship that the child has with his mother and father, as well as alternate caregiver has an influence over his gender identity. Also as he goes to school, the relationship with his peers of the same gender is crucial as well.
All these factors then come together with the influences of the child's temperament and his various experiences will determine his orientation.
One very key person that will direct this path for a boy especially will be his father.
From the age of 2 and a half. A child faces a challenge of begin separating his attachment from his mom and attaching himself with his father. Through this relationship with his father, he develops a sense of identity. He looks up to his father to answer this questions for him, 'What are boys are about? What should boys do?' All these questions are happening at an unconscious level.
From 2 1/2 to 4, he starts to break away from his mother and attaches himself to his father. And his father will need to answer those questions by
- spending time with his son
- showing and interest in his son, particularly showing interest in what his son is interested in
- verbally affirming his son, 'I am so proud of you,' 'You are so strong' etc
- conveys by physical touch like hugging and holding, it is through physical touch that the boy develops a sense of his masculine body
Now I understand why societies in asia have an influx of homosexuality. Traditionally, the men has always left the care and subsequently development of the child to the mother. Fathers have generally neglected the importance of bonding with his son, either that because of the stress that men faced in their jobs. They often became very short tempered, and become loud and explosive in when they become angry. As a result, the child does not feel safe to leave his attachment from his mother to someone he perceives is like a monster.
As male chauvinisim continues to rear its ugly head in asian societies, it is common for fathers who think that they can help their son when they do not measure up by saying things like, 'Quit acting like a sissy,' 'You are acting like a girl,' 'You are mama's boy' etc. Although well intended, it can be extremely damaging when the sense identity of gender is forming for the child.
For a more complete run down of this video, you can click on http://parachutetime.blogspot.com/ to read a verbatim version of the talk by Dr Hamilton or go to this website for the video http://www.homosexuality101.com/ The video covers a small section on Lesbanism, which I will add it in my paraphrase verbatim version as well.
April 16, 2008
- Do I want to be working in a marketing job till I am 45 years old? And having to manage a routine like that daily; wake up-go to work-spend 8 hrs at work helping a corporation sell something to the masses-leave work for mom's place-have dinner-leave for home-play with Kyle for an hour-read a book-go to bed
- The big question will be what will I do when I leave the corporate world when I am 45. Find a second career? Obviously my kids will have no time for me.
The weekend drill is slightly different; struggle to get up early at 9am-try to play with Kyle while trying to keep awake-while Kyle naps, spend some time on the net-bring Kyle to class-come home to stone with Keith and watch DVD. Start to feel depress on Sunday evening thinking about having to go to work the next day.
As for the relationship with the hubby, we dont seem to have much time for one another. He is either travelling or I am travelling...the only time we have are the weekends, which is mainly shared with the little one.
Is that all life is about? If life is about making choices for ourselves, am I making the right choice with my life? Somehow I feel that my talents left dormant and passion does not seem to exist in that area where I spend more than 8 hours daily on the weekdays.
I fear to take that step into the unknown, the many 'what ifs' just run through mind; what if I fail if I decide to move away from familiarity? What if I just lose total interest and passion again? What then should I do after that?
Maybe I should stop thinking too much and just wait patiently for His confirmation.
The fundamentals of this book is built on the belief that the preschool years are the most valuable for building character and a love of learning. And all mothers are made by God to be able to teach their own children.
Some key strategies that I have learnt from this book that will help release a mother's teaching ability :
Make purposeful observation when your child is not aware
- What are his favorite activities?
His favorite activities are hitting the ball with his kiddie racket or golf club
- How can they be adapted to create more learning opportunities?
Hmm...have to think about this
- What frustrates him, distracts him and makes him worried?
The TV distracts him, so does grand-dad being around him. Frustrate or worried - no apparent action or thing at this point.
- What produces a look of accomplishment?
When he hears praises like 'well done', or when we clap when he does something well
From observing, you will discover your child's potential and his unique gifts.
Make the effort to see the world from your child's eyes
Keep an open mind and always be ready for change
Whatever you do, don't give up. Just keep moving as there will be small successes everyday, just do it to the best of our ability
Use these strategies with the five potentials of how to release your child's learning ability :
1. The child's need for Independence
2. The child's need for Order
3. Teach the child self control
4. Encourage concentration
5. The child's potential for service (desire to help)
I am going to make an effort to start on this strategies from tomorrow and make myself a better teacher to Kyle. The only challenge that I face now is the amount of time that I am able to spend with him :(
April 13, 2008
The review on Amazon :
"The preschool years are by far the most valuable for building character and instilling a love of learning...will help you tune into your child's developmental needs and show you how to turn every day at home into a learning adventure your child will never forget. "
April 12, 2008
Was slightly late when we arrived at the school and was told to go to Room 1. Glanced around and noticed that there were about 8 to 10 rooms in total. First impression : Environment did not seem very condusive as classes were confined in each room.
Was greeted by a strong unpleasant odor of bleach when I entered the room about equivalent to the size of an average bedroom in a HDB flat. A teacher came over to check Kyle's hands and feet and got him to clean his hands with an anti-bacterial. I slotted in the baby bag in a 'pigeon hole' which was allocated for parents to keep their bags and various belongings.
The 1.5 hour class for tots 8 months to 1.5 years was as such :
11.30 - 11.40 : Play or with kids in the room with toys
11.40 - 11:50 : Random Songs
11.50 - 12:00 : Rolling the Ball
12:00 - 12:10 : Story Time
12:10 - 12:20 : Project Time
12:20 - 12:30 : Tea Break
12.30 - 12. 45 : Zoo-Phonics
12.45 - 1.00 : Random Songs
At about 12.30, Kyle started pointing at the door and he wanted out. I walked out and entertained him with the artwork done by the other tots which was put up on the boards lining the corridors outside the classes. Tried bringing him back in again but to no avail, the little fella started bawling again. I did not want to insist that he continued in case he became an annoyance for the rest of the kids in the room. So that's how it ended, and I did not think that it was a pleasant experience for tot or mom.
My conclusion : Growing up Gifted is overrated. Read good reviews about it from the Singapore Motherhood Forum, but somehow it's standards are below my expectations. The reasons :
1. The smell of bleach really turned me off from the start. The owner probably took pains to ensure that the environment is kept clean and hygenic, but I think the room has to at least be odourless or smell pleasant.
2. The random songs sounded like songs that were badly composed. The lyrics did not even rhyme, sounded like one of those songs that Keith randomly sings at times :P
3. Rolling the ball activity was lame. I really did not need to pay $45.00 for my tot to roll a beachball to another child in class
4. Tea Break. I was surprised that the preschool did not provide a snack for the kids. Nevermind about the drinks but how much does some kiddy biscuits or pandan cake cost anyhow?
5. Storytime - it was the classic Goldilocks and the three bears. Rather boring.
Probably the only thing that I felt was of value was Zoo-Phonics which I think that they are schools out there that have this program in their curriculum. The class tried to incorporate song, some form of music and movement, phonics and language, art and puppetry. But it just all felt rather dis-organized and couldn't seem to hold Kyle's attention.
There needs to be further improvements to the way the classes are structured, as well as better interaction from the teachers. I don't plan to sign Kyle up for the classes, with this sort of standard in pre-nursery, I think Kyle is probably better off home schooled till he is 3 years old.
April 4, 2008
Kyle started getting better this morning, no more high fever or stomachaches, thank God! Except that he started throwing up his milk a few times this afternoon right after his milk feed, an attempt to get the phlegm out of his throat, poor little guy :( Plan to try some home remedies this evening to see if it helps clear the phlegm.
This is the first time that Kyle has fallen ill, I know it just part and parcel of growing up, but this is just one of those things that all parents really can do without when bringing up a child.
April 1, 2008
I wish there was something I could do to stop his fever,
However it just continues to fluctuate at varying degrees
On days like these...
Being at work fills me with dread
And worry does not seem to cease
On days like these...
I look forward to see a toddler well and happy
And to see his appetite back at the very least
On days like these...
I have learn to live a day at a time
Cos life challenges will eventually dissipate with apparent ease.